I am a huge fan of What Not To Wear – the PVR is set to perpetually record episodes and I watch and rewatch them all the time. I ♥ Stacy & Clinton and think they give fantastic advice. I’m not claiming to be a fashion guru; I’m as guilty of going to the grocery store in sweatpants as the next person, but I do try to take their advice to heart when dressing for work and particularly for a work function. Both J and I have our work Christmas parties today, so with that in mind, here’s some awesome What NOT To Wears for the office party.
5. A Mr. or Mrs. Claus Outfit – unless you’re being paid to either jump out of a fruitcake or play the big man or his wife for the kiddies, steer clear of the red velour and faux fur. I think it goes without saying, but DEFINITELY don’t wear this, unless your boss is Hugh Hefner or you work at Hooters:
4. Any clothes that come with a battery pack
You might think your blinking Rudolph nose or singing, dancing Christmas hat are perfect attire for your Christmas party but after one or two or twelve glasses of eggnog will it be cute anymore? I’ll save you the mental stress; the answer is No. Chances are, if you’re “that colleague” withthe annoying musical outfit, your coworkers will want to forcefeed you to the Abominable Snow Creature by the end of the party. Men, this goes for your choice of neckwear, too. No one wants to hear your tie sing Jingle Bells eleventy million times.
Seriously, rethink that singing, dancing, Christmas pin
3. Club Wear
Unless you work at a club, this probably isn’t the best occasion to show off your metallic Spandex low cut skin tight cocktail dress.
But it's red... that's festive!
2. Leggings.
Leggings are not pants.
Let me make myself perfectly clear – LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS.
Leggings are tights masquerading as pants. Clever marketing and their ubiquitous nature has led us to believe that we can wear leggings with any old top and that all will be well. This is a lie. If your top (while standing, sitting, and walking) covers your tush, leggings can look great. If you are going to the gym, leggings are a perfectly acceptable option. If you are going to your office party, leggings are probably not your best choice.
And, the number one thing NOT to wear to your Office Party?
CHRISTMAS SWEATERS
Unless you are over the age of 80, or (maybe… and this is a very tenuous maybe) a primary school teacher, there is no need for the Christmas Sweater. The advent of the Ugly Christmas Sweater Party, popular amongst hipsters and those who profess to live a life of irony, should lead you to realize that these sweaters are just a vessel for mockery. Please, for the love of Christmas, leave the sweaters at home. This counts doubly if the Christmas sweater also fits in any of the other categories on this list.
*** note: this list should be read as a tongue-in-cheek commentary. Except for the part about leggings. That’s dead serious. Please don’t hate me.
Merry Christmas!